My Classroom, An Almost Home
The many "firsts" of the school year have come and gone. First day. First month. First tests. First tears. First discipline moments. First celebrations. First quarter. It's amazing how quickly the weeks go by yet the days at times seem long. I'm learning again of the time and energy it takes to be an elementary teacher. It's a job that really requires you to be completely present - mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually all day long.
The school days are about 7.5 hours long from 8-3:35. These children spend a lot of time in my presence and at school. I desire for the classroom to be a place of belonging and flourishing. It's an "almost home" both for me and hopefully for them. A place they feel safe and loved by me and by God. I want them to know that God is wildly in love with them. That he loves them when they are happy, sad, smiling, obeying, and disobeying- His love for them never changes. I want them to know that he cares for them more than they will ever know. So before we start our day of lessons, we pause for a moment and think about God and discuss. Then, I pray with them and for them. (They are not comfortable praying aloud themselves yet.) Sometimes their requests are small child-like of colds, bumps, and "smiley face" days . Sometimes they are bigger that give me a glimpse into their hearts. Things like parents travelling to foreign countries, siblings living in another country, or problems at home with parents. I regularly pray in front of them is that God would help me to be a good teacher for them and would help me to know how to help them learn best.
I am learning what it means to be in prayer continually. I need to be. I need it for my attitude. I need the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to help me when students don't obey, disagreements happen on the playground, or to notice the student who is struggling academically or emotionally. These kids are wide spread in their abilities. Some are amazing at reading. Some are artistic. Some excel in math. Some are so wiggly! Some are quiet as mice. Some need lots of attention and help navigating social situations. Some are always a bundle of joy! Some work slow. They all are unique. They are made in God's image and for his glory.
I am overwhelmed and humbled at the responsibility of being my students' teacher to help them grow, not just academically but holistically. (I was reminded today by some wise older teachers that these students do become adults one day.) I feel inadequate like I'm never enough, which is true. Yet in my pride too often tries to be enough. "If only I had a better worksheet for this lesson (from Teacher's Pay Teacher's of course) or if only I taught it this way then it would be enough," I think. If I just work a little longer until 6 or 7 pm then it will be enough. The lesson I'm learning (slowly) is to say, "I know that I'll never be enough. I'll never be able to do it perfectly." I'm learning to say no to Teacher's Pay Teacher's and to stop looking around me for what is "good enough." It's hard. Everyday it's a battle. It's hard to stop and just trust that my best or worst is what he wants. God will use it all. It's easy to feel like I'm failing. Yet, when I stop looking around and look to Him who is more than enough, then things go so much better. There is a fine line I'm trying to find between perfection and consistency with excellence.
It is my desire for my classroom to be a home, a place of hospitality, an invitation to know that it's okay to not be okay, an invitation to know that we will never be enough, an invitation to know that Jesus is enough. He is all we need. He is our good, good Father. And we are loved by him. It all starts with me and my heart before God.
Please pray for me to be humble and to trust that Jesus is enough. He has called and equipped me to do this good task with joy and excellence. May I walk boldly and confidently in his perfection and seek to do excellent work because I love him not out of my need to earn anything from him. May the Holy Spirit guide me into all wisdom to know how to teach with excellence, not perfectly. May I resist the temptations and lies of the Evil One not just for my sake, but for these little children God has trusted in my care this year and for the sake of the Gospel.
To sum of some of my thoughts, my favorite singer and song writer, Sara Groves, couldn't say it any better or more beautifully.
"Really we don’t need much
Just strength to believe
There’s honey in the rock,
There’s more than we see
In these patches of joy
These stretches of sorrow
There’s enough for today
There will be enough tomorrow"
-Enough, from her album Floodplain
Psalm 81:16
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| Workings together |
The school days are about 7.5 hours long from 8-3:35. These children spend a lot of time in my presence and at school. I desire for the classroom to be a place of belonging and flourishing. It's an "almost home" both for me and hopefully for them. A place they feel safe and loved by me and by God. I want them to know that God is wildly in love with them. That he loves them when they are happy, sad, smiling, obeying, and disobeying- His love for them never changes. I want them to know that he cares for them more than they will ever know. So before we start our day of lessons, we pause for a moment and think about God and discuss. Then, I pray with them and for them. (They are not comfortable praying aloud themselves yet.) Sometimes their requests are small child-like of colds, bumps, and "smiley face" days . Sometimes they are bigger that give me a glimpse into their hearts. Things like parents travelling to foreign countries, siblings living in another country, or problems at home with parents. I regularly pray in front of them is that God would help me to be a good teacher for them and would help me to know how to help them learn best.
I am learning what it means to be in prayer continually. I need to be. I need it for my attitude. I need the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to help me when students don't obey, disagreements happen on the playground, or to notice the student who is struggling academically or emotionally. These kids are wide spread in their abilities. Some are amazing at reading. Some are artistic. Some excel in math. Some are so wiggly! Some are quiet as mice. Some need lots of attention and help navigating social situations. Some are always a bundle of joy! Some work slow. They all are unique. They are made in God's image and for his glory.
I am overwhelmed and humbled at the responsibility of being my students' teacher to help them grow, not just academically but holistically. (I was reminded today by some wise older teachers that these students do become adults one day.) I feel inadequate like I'm never enough, which is true. Yet in my pride too often tries to be enough. "If only I had a better worksheet for this lesson (from Teacher's Pay Teacher's of course) or if only I taught it this way then it would be enough," I think. If I just work a little longer until 6 or 7 pm then it will be enough. The lesson I'm learning (slowly) is to say, "I know that I'll never be enough. I'll never be able to do it perfectly." I'm learning to say no to Teacher's Pay Teacher's and to stop looking around me for what is "good enough." It's hard. Everyday it's a battle. It's hard to stop and just trust that my best or worst is what he wants. God will use it all. It's easy to feel like I'm failing. Yet, when I stop looking around and look to Him who is more than enough, then things go so much better. There is a fine line I'm trying to find between perfection and consistency with excellence.
It is my desire for my classroom to be a home, a place of hospitality, an invitation to know that it's okay to not be okay, an invitation to know that we will never be enough, an invitation to know that Jesus is enough. He is all we need. He is our good, good Father. And we are loved by him. It all starts with me and my heart before God.
Please pray for me to be humble and to trust that Jesus is enough. He has called and equipped me to do this good task with joy and excellence. May I walk boldly and confidently in his perfection and seek to do excellent work because I love him not out of my need to earn anything from him. May the Holy Spirit guide me into all wisdom to know how to teach with excellence, not perfectly. May I resist the temptations and lies of the Evil One not just for my sake, but for these little children God has trusted in my care this year and for the sake of the Gospel.
To sum of some of my thoughts, my favorite singer and song writer, Sara Groves, couldn't say it any better or more beautifully.
"Really we don’t need much
Just strength to believe
There’s honey in the rock,
There’s more than we see
In these patches of joy
These stretches of sorrow
There’s enough for today
There will be enough tomorrow"
-Enough, from her album Floodplain
Psalm 81:16
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| An illustration of the story of the Bible by my student |
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| These sweet little notes make me smile. |
Beautifully written! Praying for you tonight, dear friend!
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